why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
