What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
