Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
