I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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