Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
