Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
