I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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