happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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