I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
