god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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