Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
