3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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