Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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