I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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