It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
