I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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