Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
