Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
