I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
