she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I party with great urgency now.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
