I am puke
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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