you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
