So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
