Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
