If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
