you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
