If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
