doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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