I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You work out of a Hotel?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
