I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
