My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
