Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
