small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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