You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
