Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
