Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
