btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
