super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
