I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
