doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
