Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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