Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I love you. Go after that dick
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
