A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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