Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
