I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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