It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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