I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
