I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
