Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
