You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
