I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
